bombing auditions, bowing pianos, and bonestter's daughter

I bombed my orchestra audition. While I didn't feel nervous, my body reacted like it does when I am. My breathing went to shit and even though I'd take huge breaths, I was only able to use the bit like with shallow breathing. Had to exhale and inhale during breaths because I couldn't use all my air. It was like I was an oboe player or something. Then my embouchure disappeared because I haven't been playing as much. Finally, and this was the killer, the bit that keeps your mouth and nose separate (soft palate?) totally went out on me, and while I was playing, I couldn't control where my air was going, so it came out my mouth and my nose at the same time. This has happened before, but never in an audition, or frankly, in any situation where I couldn't stop to catch my breath a bit. So...I learned you can play with air coming out your nose and mouth...for about 8 seconds. I had to stop during my audition because all the air was coming out my nose and not the clarinet, and that's no good. find out wednesday what parts I'll get. I just hope I don't have only second parts. second clarinet parts in orchestra suck the most. I defy you to find a suckier part.

Also today, I entered my very first competition. Some university in ohio has a new music festival and had a call for scores. I don't think i'll win, but since it was a piece I already had and only cost me $2 to mail, I don't really care. point is, I entered a competition and put my music out there.

Last Friday was the beginning of bowed piano, and I'm excited that the ensemble has so many members. Admittedly, I wouldn't mind if one dropped...but whatever. we made some bows, went over basic technique (a few people are naturals at it, which is exciting) and tried to play simple things. Looking forward to another session of bowing strings!

Last Thursday I met with a vocalist I'd worked with at Fresno about my new vocal piece, which goes with the one I wrote last year. I got super excited at the prospect of her singing for me (YAY!) because she's a good musician...and a singer. And the two are not always mutually exclusive. Will meet with her again in mid october, by which I said I'd have the piece done...and I think I should.

And last weekend, I went and saw Bonesetter's Daughter at the sf opera with my mom. It was good, I'm convinced Amy Tan only writes about chinese women, actually, usually several generations of chinese women, who have been abused in some way. Which isn't a complaint really, just an observation. Anyhow, I thought it was good, I was happy it wasn't...oh how to describe? Let's just say it seemed to me a good combination of traditional chinese and modern musical materials. Actually, that's a shit descirption, but it will have to do. The part I remember the best is the opening, which had the same material as the closing, so maybe that's why, but I liked it. And my mom liked it too, which I thought was good. Now, if the opera could make my seat actually worth what I paid for it, I'd be much happier. Why can't they give me enough room to stretch my legs a bit...or hell, stretch them at all? My knees (which have lots of issues) got so stiff and painful because I couldn't move that they hurt for several days. And I'm not even tall.

Alright, I think that's enough musical update for one night.