Not so simple

oh goodness. where to begin.

Today I found myself contemplating one of my compositions. A song I had written in Fresno. It is simple, very simple, incredibly exposed, so much so that I was so nervous when it was performed, I was nearly sick to my stomach. At first I figured if I was that nervous at the performance, then I must be uncomfortable with the piece and should change it.

But when I think about changing it, I start to second guess myself. Maybe it's not that I need to change it, maybe it's just that it is so much more exposed. the piece makes me feel like I'm standing naked in front of an audience.

And then I got to contemplating about the fact that I very clearly reference the second movement of Gorecki's Third symphony (which was not written by a child, per se, as I mistakenly remembered, but an 18 year old girl...though still a young person)and wondering about that. So I listened to it again today, and the more I listened, the more it seemed...well, wrong, insensitive perhaps, to have refereced it in my piece. Just that the subject matter is so sensitive. Oh I don't know.

But people like the piece. The singer loved it, other audience memebers loved it, it was liked well enough by the powers that were to put it on the concert to begin with, and I've actually been told to send it in my protfolio over some of my other works (whether or not I will I haven't decided).

For such a simple piece, it's quite a conundrum