I hate Grad Apps!!!

I hate the whole freaking process.

I hate writing the essays. Because, of course, none of them ask the same question. Oh no, that'd be far too simple. So I sit, and worry about writing the right things. Did I compliment them enough? Do I sound like a fucking kiss ass? AM I a kiss ass? Will they be convinced they should accept me? Did I talk enough about this, or too much of that? Did I remember to list everything? Can I word this in a way that sounds a little less desperate? UGH.

I hate trying to list my accomplishments. Feels like I'm bragging or something. When is it too much? When is it not enough? AHHHH!

I hate being up to my eyes in essays and forms and applications and supplimental applications and resumes and repetoire lists and everything. And I haven't even gotten to the ACTUAL music.

I hate being so absolutely terrified I won't get in again that I feel paralyzed.