What to say.

I stared at the keyboard for at least thirty minutes today. Stared. Like if I looked at it hard enough, wonderful music would come out of it that I could transcribe and claim to have written myself. Stared and thought about music. Why do I write music? What do I have to say?

I don't know what to say. And I wonder if I have anything to say.

*sigh* Which is of course, absurd. I'm sure I do. I just don't know what it is yet. I feel like there are so many expectations for the orchestral piece I'm working (or not working) on, mostly set up by myself, and I am having trouble getting past it so that I can just write it. I'm having troubles focusing.